Wednesday, September 15, 2010

The one where I called Poison Control....

Ever have one of those days that you hope someone comes and puts you in a straight jacket because you could really just use a hug? Yeah, that was yesterday.

I put the kiddos down for their nap and went about my business. I heard them playing and really didn't think anything of it because they quieted down. Then I heard the soft giggles, you know the "we totally just did something that we think is hilarious but Mommy is not going to find hilarious" giggles. I cannot fully explain what I saw when I opened the door. It was like that quick flash they do on hoarders that makes your head feel like it's going to explode if you look any longer.



The kids were covered in something white, my first thought baby powder, but how would they get it? It's locked in the cabinet, the only white thing is.....oh dear Lord....Desitin. My children had Desitin painted on not only themselves but the carpet and crib as well. Plus all the diapers were in Jill's bed. Now here's where I had to make my decision, do I laugh, do I cry, do I yell? Jill made it easy, her Cherokee blood was proudly coming through, she had Desitin painted on her face as if it were war paint. Aaron clearly was playing the cowboy in this situation. Then Jill says "Aar what did you do?!" I lost it, I couldn't stop laughing. It was that mad scientist laugh, you know the one before they truly discover that he has lost it and take him away. Jill needs to work on her blaming skills. It's hard to believe that Aaron did it solo when all the diapers were in her bed, she was covered in at least 1/4 of the tube of Desitin (yes, it was a brand new only used once tube) and was rubbing the Desitin into the carpet when accusing him.

So I'm laugh/crying at this point and it hits me. Holy hell they have it by their mouths, did they eat it?! Are they going to get sick?! So I Google Poison Control, because really that was not a number I thought I would need to have memorized, call and get the impression I'm the worse mother in the world, until she realizes they are twins and I get this "Oh they're a handful huh?" Clearly if I'm on the phone with Poison Control. In case you were wondering twins make you sound more saint like when on the phone with them, especially when it's your first call and they are almost 2 and a half.

Since we weren't sure if they actually ate any I really just had to sit and wait. Desitin's main ingredient is zinc, which is a vitamin, so it won't do too much. The only thing that can happen is they will get diarrhea, which in most children causes diaper rash, which then will require the Desitin that I no longer have because my kids decided to finger paint with it. Awesome....

My next call was Scott, who I don't call at work. I knew he wouldn't answer so I left a message thinking he'll totally know something is wrong....wrong. So I text "You need to come home" to which I get "What's up?" "911" so you think that would be like hey run to a corner and call, no I get "What's going on?" Mind you I'm calling during all of this. Finally we start talking and I finally break down. My darling children come up and go "Momma what's wrong? Why you cry? It's otay Momma!" At least they're cute.


I got the kids in the tub, which they thought was awesome, got them de-Desitined, redressed, and started working on the Jackson Pollock on the carpet. I used an entire bucket of cleaning solution with my steam cleaner to try and clean on section and it still didn't come out. Hello Stanley Steamer and your $99 special. Their clothes are ok for the most part, Jill's shirt was covered in it and I can't get it out. I've washed it 4 times and nothing. Good thing it was a $3 shirt from Target.

At least this story made both sets of parents laugh and is getting four of my carpets steam cleaned by the pro's.

And can I just thank my friend Mitch for posting this on Facebook yesterday almost immediately after it happened, seriously, it's like he knew I needed a laugh:




Nothing like a tube of Desitin to remind you that you just need to laugh sometimes and pray that one day their children will do the same thing to them, only worse.

9 comments:

Old School/New School Mom said...

That story made my Wednesday! I guess that's the thing about having twins, they inspire one another to do crazy things. Too funny!

Morningglory said...

My twins are only 7 months old so I have no stories of their Monstrous messes yet. But, my daughter when she was 2 and a half around 3 am climbed over her baby gate attached to her room, pulled a chair to the kitchen counter grabbed the 5 lb bag of sugar and poured it all over the floor. She then took her diaper off sat in the middle of it and played in it like sand in a sand box. Talk about a mess! ugh...

Happy Wednesday

DRS Are The Best said...

We had a similar experience with my singleton -- just after the twins were born, we put DS1 down for a nap (22 months old), and my MIL went up to check on him -- he was COVERED in Vasoline (that we bought for Twin Boy following his bris), as were his bed, the walls -- and BOY, was he wearing the biggest smile EVER!!!!!! Fortunately, nothing was near his mouth so we weren't concerned about poison and didn't have to make that phone call. Ever since then, his UNofficial nickname is "Slick" because of that incident. These kids were NEVER be allowed to forget these stories. Now that it's over, you can sit back and have a good laugh....

Machelle said...

If it makes you feel any better....we had to call over baby powder!! It got everywhere and in the eyes and mouth *sigh.* I am glad they are ok though...sorry about the carpet! I can not imagine!

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates said...

I had to call Poison Control about my one daughter eating a whole tube of toddler toothpaste (brand new too) by herself. Fortunately this was still when they were young and not using the toothpaste with the fluoride in it! FYI; its OK, but you sometimes wonder "what's next".

Sarah said...

First big hugs to you! My twins just turn two, and while I've yet to need to call poison control, I have had to struggle w/ getting desitin out of the carpet. Hope today is a calmer day.

Missy (Two Little Monkeys) said...

Been there and done that - with Destin too. What is it with that stuff? And it is so funny to wash it off,right? Glad all is well!

Angela said...

Ha! Our call was over a tube of Lamisil. I hope you get it out of the carpets. I had to get out olive oil once, we're talking a cup or so. After a google search, I tried using Dawn and it really worked. Maybe that will help with the greasiness.

Sadia said...

Oh my! We've never called poison control, but I did once have to sniff my way to the dirty diaper one of my girls had removed from her sister and hidden!

Related Posts with Thumbnails