The Gym Incident

I love my parents, they absolutely crack me up. Yesterday was no exception. As many of you know, my MOM had knee replacement surgery this year and is doing amazingly well. She decided to join the gym that my Dad goes to and now they work out together at some ungodly hour in the morning. There is nothing that makes me laugh harder than when my Dad talks about the gym, and when you have a case of pneumonia it hurts so good. I'm not kidding guys, I could not text my sister fast enough to ask if she heard "the gym story". Here's how it went down...

My Dad is talking to me about how they went to the gym, and how on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's that gym is always busy. Please cue the Chicago accent...ahem:

Dad: All the THREADmills are taken but they had one of them air bikes but you know with that other knee she can't really do the bike. So I put her on that machine, you know, so she could work on her TIE muscles and build up strength in her legs. (*My face is already buried in my shirt to stifle my laughter*)

Me: Yeah, so how did she do?

Dad: She did good except when we went to leave she realized she lost her phone. I don't even know why she brought the God D@mn thing into the gym in the first place. And it's not like anybody stole it, we haven't had that problem there. I mean I would question it if she had it in her jacket, but she didn't.

Me: Did it fall between the seats in the car?

Dad: No, I checked. It probably feel out by that one machine because you are at an angle and it was in her pocket. I don't know why she even brought the thing in. She's there looking for it now.

So I razzed my MOM a little about it when she got home but then after texting with my sister we devised our plan (cue evil laugh):

Tay-Tay: I just called and left them a message telling them we want to know if they have locker's there.

Me: "Don't you two have anything better to do? Jesus Christ!" (This is our expected response from either or both parents)

Tay-Tay: Who two? Jesus and Christ? They are one in the same.

Me: I would pee my Pampers if you said that to them. Oh.My.God.

So a few hours go by and I call my parents to give them an update on my mother in law. After talking with my MOM for a while I casually say....

Me: So, do they have lockers at that gym?

MOM: Oh you know, what you two can go to hell!

And the laughter hurt....it hurt so good.