Sunday, April 1, 2012

When Birds Attack*

On Saturday I let Scott decide what we were going to do. Disney is out of the question until Spring Break is over and we can go ahead and include SeaWorld in that category as well. There weren't any publicized festivals/fairs/activities in our immediate area so he decided on....Gatorland. Now, if you've been reading this blog for a while you know my reaction. It did not help that he made his case by saying: "I have an idea for something for us to do. It's not as redneck as it used to be...". Did you cringe? Me too friends, me too.

I went anyway, frowny face and all.

The kids were excited to see all of the alligators, they thought it was awesome. Scott took the kids to see the Jump-a-roo show, I passed, I saw the video on YouTube and almost threw up. My kids loved it. I don't know whose children they are. Apparently those Mississippi genes are a lot stronger than the Chicago ones (in this case anyway).

After the gator feeding show we went to see the flamingos, which is in the same area as where you can feed hot dogs (no, really) to the gators. Bear with me, I'm still a little shaken and the details are a little fuzzy on the events that immediately followed. Jill and I were looking at the gators and Scott said something so I turned around and...well...all I saw was white and then feathers and the feathers hit me and my life flashed before my eyes.

Yes, I was attacked* by a bird the size of my children. Apparently this hostile bird is called a wood stork, Scott claims they are gentle creatures, I say bull, they are vicious bloodthirsty birds. After the attack* I gave Scott one look and headed for shelter. I would not be attacked* again. Jill laughed and thought it was funny. She then told everyone "Mommy doesn't like birds".

It's the truth, I have F.O.B., fear of birds. I've never been a bird fan. They have those beady little eyes, razor sharp talons, beaks of death, I mean they are all birds of prey in my opinion. Those sweet little calls are really death calls to warn you they are coming for your face. I should know, I worked in an aviary for like 6 months, therefore making me an expert in all things bird related.

Gatorland was like my personal hell, there were birds everywhere. Giant birds, little birds, birds that were nesting so they were hyper protective. What was on the other side of these birds you ask? Giant alligators that could eat you in like 2 bites. Thank God a rainstorm came and cut our "adventure" short. The kids really loved it though, and so did Scott. I think this will be a Daddy trip from now on. I just can't risk another attack*.

*Scott thinks the word "attack" is a gross exaggeration of what "actually" happened. I say it was an attack, he says the bird just flew in front of me. Whatever, that bird touched me, it was an attack.

1 comment:

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

Oh, much to say! ;)

First, I may have uttered something along the lines of "it's not as redneck as you'd think" before...Mississipi / Alabama...there's likely a connection!

But I completely agree that you were attacked. Feathers? To your face??? I'm glad you survived!

And I think it's a great idea to allow Scott to have the fun on subsequent trips. Sounds like a great bonding experience, for sure. ;)

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