You know, Verizon wouldn't talk to me like this...

So the battle for a replacement phone has raged on, pretty much all day. If you totaled the number of hours Scott, myself and PawPaw have spent dealing with AT&T I think it would be about 4-5 hours, no joke.

So when we last chatted I was under the impression that we would be able to upgrade early, not have an early upgrade (yeah, apparently there is a difference). My understanding is I would be able to get the iPhone for $99.99, oh was I wrong. If it was May 2010 and I was upgrading my phone that would be the case, but because I was doing an early upgrade it would be almost $300. How is that discounted??? Seriously?! So PawPaw called Amex to see if they had a deal, they don't, sigh. So Scott called again and they told him a different story, naturally. I finally called, and trust me, you never want it to get to that point. I'm not trying to a beyotch, but seriously, if you have to interrupt my day with my children we have a problem.

Here's how it went down (in a bulleted timeline because it's more dramatic):

• I called the AT&T 800 line to speak to a customer service representative.
• I got through right away (holy crapola that never happens!)
• I told Eva what was going on, she asked a couple of questions and then put me on hold...for 15 minutes (seriously?!)
• Eva comes back and tells me everything I just told her, I am so not kidding. She literally repeated everything I just said to her. I wanted to bang the phone on the counter and ask if it was working, I was able to restrain myself.
• I asked Eva why I was being asked to pay almost $300 for an iPhone and almost $400 (SERIOUSLY) for my same exact phone. Eva told me it was because I didn't qualify for an upgrade early, I would be using an early upgrade (ummm, potato-pa-tah-to?). I then asked her why new customers that just walk in the door can get an iPhone for $99.99 and a Blackberry for FREE. She said because they are new and that's the discounted price. Ok, but I've been a customer for a while now, so why am I getting screwed (I used those exact words by the way)? Eva didn't have an answer so I asked for her supervisor, she continued to talk and I politely said "Um did you not hear me? I want to talk to your supervisor." Really, I was pretty polite.
• I held for 15 minutes (oh yeah) for the supervisor. What, was he in a totally separate building, or the basement? Seriously...
• I got the supervisor Anthony and gave him a run down of the situation, also throwing in the fact that I was told you couldn't get insurance on a Blackberry, but now they offer it and had I known this, or had they sent a nice little email, or free text (which I get a million of) about this, we would not be having this problem. He said basically what Eva said about the prices and I asked "What's stopping me from canceling the account and walking right back in the store to get the better deal?" "If that's what you feel you need to do" Ummm seriously?! Time for the big guns...
• This next part was a series of comments that just fired out of my mouth at probably the speed of a space shuttle taking off, "Are you kidding me? You know Verizon has a version of the iPhone called the Droid and they are practically free and from what I hear a hell of a lot better. I hear the iPhone isn't all it's cracked up to be. I also hear at Verizon their customer service is top notch and they would never speak to a valued customer this way. Basically you can take your iPhone and shove it for all I care, I just want a phone. I want a replacement for my phone like I would have gotten if I knew about the insurance, you know if you would have done your job and informed your 'valued' customers about this."
  
• Silence
• "Would you like me to see what the discounted price is on your phone? I can't do the iPhone"
• "Fine, I have zero desire to have an iPhone now after this conversation"
• "Ok, so the Blackberry Curve, let me see the price"
• "Unless that price is FREE do not waste your time"
• "Ok"
• "Ok?"
• "You would just need to pay the shipping"
• WTF?! Did I just get a free Blackberry???
• "Ma'am?"
• "How much would that be?"
• "$9.95"
• Holy crap!
  
• "Ma'am?"
• "Do you take Mastercard?"

Needless to say I will once again be connected to the world via Blackberry (a nice new shiny red one!) on Monday, maybe Tuesday. Now, I don't encourage tirades on the phone and seriously hated them when I was in customer service, but for real, I don't think I was asking for anything ridiculous. I think if you've been a valued customer for years you shouldn't have to pay double or triple what some Joe Schmo off the street is paying. Am I wrong?

PS Thanks Verizon ;)