Thursday, April 26, 2012

Yup, still in diapers...

We are almost one week out from the kiddos 4th birthday, and preschool is on the horizon. I'm literally losing my mind over here. No, not because my babies are not babies anymore (ok, well a little), but because Aaron is still in diapers. For real. Tonight I was researching if not being potty trained by 4 was normal and what I found upset me beyond words that I had to write a post.

I was on a message board reading what people were saying to this one woman who posted exactly what I was wondering. Most people were supportive but one woman, dear Lord. Her exact words were "Oh come on!", she basically blamed the woman for not "trying hard enough" or "sticking to her guns" and it was all her fault, she was putting her child at a disadvantage. Now I know she wasn't talking to me, since I didn't ask the question, but I took serious offense to it.

It's not that we haven't tried with Aaron, we have...a lot. The problem is he will refuse to go and will hold it all day and then pee in his bed. (Aaron if you are 18 and reading this, I'm sorry) He knows when he has to go, but he just won't do it. Jill was trained in 2 days...2 DAYS! I feel like I've been trying to train Aaron forever and that he may go to college in diapers/Depends.

Help me, please. Any tips you have would be awesome, but don't be mean and judgy like the woman on the message boards.


Johanna Baker said...

Mine were wet-trained in a day, but they would hold poop all day and then go in their pull up at night. So frustrating.
This may seem like bad parenting advice, but I bribed the hell out my kids. I went to the toy store and bought a bunch of seriously cool stuff (not trinkets). Everytime one of them pooped on the potty, they got to choose a toy. After that, they were trained within a week.

MandyE (Twin Trials and Triumphs) said...

...but don't be too mean / judgy. Hahaha! Ain't that the truth!!! ;)

I don't have much experience to cite, as our girls were relatively easy -- different -- but not too stubborn once they decided they were ready.

But, I remember seeing Dr. Phil say one time, to a couple who was concerned that their son wouldn't potty-train..."You have to find his currency."

Once a kid hits a certain age, when they begin to understand cause and effect, I can see Dr. Phil's point in many different situations.

Is there a different reward system / incentive you could try? If stickers / candies / match cars don't work...maybe say that he has to be wearing underwear before he can start school (assuming he really wants to start school)???

I can only imagine the frustration...hang in there!!!

Sean Patrick and Emma Jane said...

My two were the same way. They finally trained at 3 1/2. We went to the pre-school open house and I told them if they didn't use the potty they could not come to school. They literally trained in two days after that! I am a firm believer that they will do it when they are ready and it has nothing to do with parenting.

Sanders said...

My Mother in law told me that when she was potty training her boys to go Pee in the potty, she would throw a few fruit loops in the potty and make a game of them trying to aim or hit the fruitloops with pee. She even got Dad invovled at first to show how and making a "game" of it made it more fun and less work. I have two girls, so this advice wasn't used by me, but thought I would throw it out there and maybe it would help?????

Laura said...

Someone else said "you have to find his currency".. I think that's about right. My daughter is 3 1/2 and although she's used a potty off and on over the last year and a half.. it's only been the last 2 months that she's been using it about 95% of the time. Why? Possibly because I told her, as nicely as I could, that she wouldn't be able to take swimming lessons this summer if she was still wearing a diaper.
Maybe helping your son understand that there's going to be something really cool in his future that he won't be able to do if he's still wearing diapers will work for you too.
Don't make him feel bad about it- when he's ready he'll do it. But of course, don't give up on gently moving him towards that readiness. Good luck!

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