Goofy Training - Week 10: The One With the Clown and Frog

We are in full on marathon training at this point and for some reason I remember it being easy last year. Maybe it was because I was scared of how hard it was and worried I wouldn't be able to do. Now that I know I can do it I may not be trying as hard.

Anyway, we were in a holding pattern last night because we weren't totally sure what the weather was going to do. After having Scott consult all of the weather sources the decision was made that we were good to go for the morning (even though sleeping in sounded way more appealing).

It was literally pitch black out this morning and I remember it being brighter the last time we met that early. So what does Michelle bring us as we are running in the dark? Oh, just that clown that has been hiding in the woods in South Carolina....

via GIPHY

So now I'm running in the dark worrying about a creepy clown jumping out of the woods. Then we hear people talking and we don't see anyone. 

It's got to be a clown... a creepy going to murder us clown...

Nope, just some ROTC guys running cadences and showing off that they can do this and not sound totally out of breath. 

Can I be real with you? When I first heard them I had that crazy pivot move ready to run the other way. Then when I realized what it was I was all, "Yeah, I think that was a run interval..."

Let's see what else happened...I almost stepped on a frog, I'm pretty sure we both spilled 60% of our water down the front of our shirts (okay, maybe that was just me) and I'm sure there were other things that I just can't remember right now.

While it was not our fastest or best run (hey cramping at mile 9.5, great to see you too), we got our miles in and are pushing forward.

Week 10 of training is in the books...Goofy here we come!

My Phobias AKA Why I Hate Squirrels

The other day we were celebrating a coworkers birthday with some super delicious ice cream cake from Publix (seriously, it's so good that it deserved a mention) and the squirrel came up. Have I mentioned the squirrel?

Last week, Jesi found an injured squirrel outside of our building and being the good-natured person that she is, she brought it INSIDE to care for it. I was late that day because I had to take the kiddos to school, so when I arrived and came to grab some coffee, Alyssa was cuddling something. I thought it was Jesi's new puppy (notice how I do not question a puppy being in the office). Alyssa, knowing full well that I do not like squirrels, encourages me to come closer and shows me the creature. I almost hit the wall.

I am not a fan of squirrels.

Now, I told you this to tell you about the conversation that unfolded whilst enjoying the Neapolitan ice cream cake (which next to cookies n' cream is the best flavor, just sayin'). We started talking about the squirrel and how I do not like them, then it turned to my fear of the arboretum on campus and then various other fears. So I've decided to make a list with explanations for my fears. Buckle up kids, this is a long list....

Squirrels

I do not like them. I wouldn't say I'm paralyzed with fear, but when I knew that squirrel was in the next office, I had a hard time breathing. I trace this fear back to Valentine's Day in preschool when a squirrel was in my house and my brother tried to trap it.

Clowns

I mean really, who actually likes clowns? My fear comes from two different places, Pee-Wee's Big Adventure (still cannot watch the clown scene) and my sister-in-law's parents lake house which was decorated with photos and figurines of clowns.

Ducks

I don't like ducks. I'm terrified they are going to bite me or poop on me, or do both simultaneously. I trace this fear back to the time my sister attempted to feed to the ducks when I was a baby. There is photographic evidence of this event.

The Arboretum 

On campus we have an amazing arboretum, or so they say. I am not one with nature. When we took the tour of this spacious nature filled deathtrap I immediately stopped talking and did a lot of shallow breathing. What if the lady kicked me out of the golf cart? I would be lost in the wilderness and probably eaten by a bear or gator or bitten by a poisonous snake. Possibly all three.

Bodies of water

I do not go into bodies of water past my shin. Why? There are live creatures in there and I cannot see the bottom. Plus, I stepped in a bed of crabs once and have been traumatized ever since.

Birds

They are filthy disease ridden creatures that poop on you. Plus, they have talons and razor sharp beaks. Enough said.

Balloons

Not necessarily balloons, but the sound they make when they rub together and most definitely when they pop. Every graduation ceremony is my own personal hell.

Snakes

I'm from Chicago, I don't do snakes. In my opinion, they are all poisonous and will unhinge their jaw to swallow me whole.

Bridges over bodies of water

I have a fear that the bridge will collapse and my car will plummet into the shark infested water.

Heights

Ironic since I'm super tall, but yes. I do not like being high up because I'm terrified of falling.

Dark enclosed spaces

You can ask Scott, I almost had a panic attack in the caves on Tom Sawyer Island this weekend. I can be claustrophobic at times (one of the reasons I do not care for elevators) so when you add darkness that only adds to the sheer panic I am feeling.

Albino geckos

We have these albino geckos in our area and they scare the ever living out of me. I don't know if it's their beady red eyes of what, but I will lose my mind if one gets in the house. Just ask Scott.

I think this is it. I honestly have no idea, but those are the ones that jump out at me in a nonthreatening way.

Please tell me you all have similar fears.