The Gym Incident

I love my parents, they absolutely crack me up. Yesterday was no exception. As many of you know, my MOM had knee replacement surgery this year and is doing amazingly well. She decided to join the gym that my Dad goes to and now they work out together at some ungodly hour in the morning. There is nothing that makes me laugh harder than when my Dad talks about the gym, and when you have a case of pneumonia it hurts so good. I'm not kidding guys, I could not text my sister fast enough to ask if she heard "the gym story". Here's how it went down...

My Dad is talking to me about how they went to the gym, and how on Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's that gym is always busy. Please cue the Chicago accent...ahem:

Dad: All the THREADmills are taken but they had one of them air bikes but you know with that other knee she can't really do the bike. So I put her on that machine, you know, so she could work on her TIE muscles and build up strength in her legs. (*My face is already buried in my shirt to stifle my laughter*)

Me: Yeah, so how did she do?

Dad: She did good except when we went to leave she realized she lost her phone. I don't even know why she brought the God D@mn thing into the gym in the first place. And it's not like anybody stole it, we haven't had that problem there. I mean I would question it if she had it in her jacket, but she didn't.

Me: Did it fall between the seats in the car?

Dad: No, I checked. It probably feel out by that one machine because you are at an angle and it was in her pocket. I don't know why she even brought the thing in. She's there looking for it now.

So I razzed my MOM a little about it when she got home but then after texting with my sister we devised our plan (cue evil laugh):

Tay-Tay: I just called and left them a message telling them we want to know if they have locker's there.

Me: "Don't you two have anything better to do? Jesus Christ!" (This is our expected response from either or both parents)

Tay-Tay: Who two? Jesus and Christ? They are one in the same.

Me: I would pee my Pampers if you said that to them. Oh.My.God.

So a few hours go by and I call my parents to give them an update on my mother in law. After talking with my MOM for a while I casually say....

Me: So, do they have lockers at that gym?

MOM: Oh you know, what you two can go to hell!

And the laughter hurt....it hurt so good.

Thanksgiving Thursday

So much to be thankful for this week! I am thankful for:

• Scott having two days off this week! He has been on mandatory overtime lately and while it's nice to have the extra money, it really blows.

• Aaron doing this:

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

• Jilly and Mommy time yesterday. We went to Sephora and then to Starbucks, it was a bona fide girls afternoon and I cannot wait for many more!

• A great birthday dinner with Mimi and Paw Paw last night for Mimi's birthday!

• My Dad's accent, it may soon inspire an entire post, it's hilarious the more and more I listen to it.

• My Mom's MOM-isms. They are priceless and would most certainly give the guy from "Sh*t my Dad says" a run for his money.

• My favorite cousin that lives in South Carolina for motivating me to get my bum in shape enough to run a 5K (even though she thinks it's a half marathon) with her.

• A great back to school week. I started classes on Tuesday and am working to finish my degree in Public Relations. I'm only a few credits shy of my degree and cannot wait to finish it!

What are you thankful for?

The cure is not more cowbell, I promise...

Last night Scott and I continued celebrating our anniversary by going to a Chicago White Sox game. They are in town playing the Rays until Sunday, which really was so very nice of them to schedule that around our anniversary. They're very sweet, aren't they?


Now Scott and I have only been to Tropicana Field one other time, and that was before the Rays won the World Series. There weren't many fans there, they were mainly White Sox fans the last time we went. This time was a different story, and my dear Tampa fans we need to talk. Please, grab your $8 Mich Ultra since you are a snob that can't drink real beer at a game, and let's chat. Yelling "Go Rays!" at people in White Sox shirts before the first pitch is even thrown, not so good. The game hasn't started yet, don't get too cocky. I call this bad karma. When 95% of your fans are wearing Longoria jersey's that tells me something. That tells me you really aren't a fan and just know that he's a good player (or in the ladies case, he's super hot) and that's pretty much it. Please jump off the bandwagon and jump back onto your Mich Ultra wagon. Thank you. Also, having someone in a giant blue wig leading the crowd of "fans" in ringing cowbells is not acceptable. See exhibit A:


Cowbell, and the phrase "we need more cowbell" is only acceptable in this format (exhibit b):

Now, this is not to say that we White Sox fans are not obnoxious. We are, as is evident by my tweets on Twitter last night, which if you are on Twitter I highly recommend you read, they are pretty funny. We, however, are die hard fans that know what we are talking about. We also drink Bud/Miller Lite not Mich Ultra and we eat sausage and peppers not salad. Plus, we have really cool accents, I can see why you would be jealous.
Also during the game I was texting my sister Cathy and I began to wonder if she was drinking what I was because at one point, after Rios hit a home run, I got a text that said "his name is Rios and he dances in the sand".
So the game was pretty awesome, we were in the lead and all was well with the world. Between one of the innings they started playing Cotton Eyed Joe (if you do not know this song, google it and this picture will make much more sense) and this man appeared on the Jumbo-Tron:


At this point, win or lose, my night was complete. Is that not amazing? If he had been wearing overalls that would have just been the sweet buttercream icing on one delicious banjo shaped cake.

In the end though, Chicago won and all those obnoxious Rays fans got to hear all of us South Siders in our drunken glory yelling "Let's Go White Sox!" in the tunnels post-game.


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How much candy did you buy?!

I think things are starting to finally get back to normal after the holidays. I cannot wait to take down the Christmas tree though, I won't know what to do with myself not having to say "No, don't touch that! Yes, that includes touching it with your feet!". We've just been hanging out with my folks the past few days. My sister and niece went back to Chicago on Saturday, they had a tough go though. Because of the weather they were delayed several hours and because one of the flaps didn't work they had to land in St. Louis and switch planes. The finally made it into Chicago close to 4 am (no fun).

Last night we met up with my parents for dinner at Captain Jack's at Downtown Disney. We had perfect seats right by the water so the kids could watch the boats during dinner. I had to laugh though because our waitress clearly sounded like she's smoked a carton a day since she was 12 and Aaron noticed as well and mimicked her raspy voice at one point. I literally almost shot all my food out of my mouth.

After dinner we just walked around with all the other crazy people that are in town (and I say that in the nicest way possible, trust me). My Dad ended up buying, I don't know, like 10 pounds of chocolate covered raisins and nuts. I don't even think I'm exaggerating on that one. He also hit someone with my Moms wheelchair (her hip has been bothering her, nothing serious). I cannot tell you how that situation turned out because, like any good daughter, I ran in the other direction and pretended I was not with them. I was told in the car though that (please imagine this in a heavy Chicago accent) "She turned around and looked at me and didn't say a G-D thing! She knew! She knew she was in the G-D way! These people..." and it went on for a little bit. Then Jill ended up talking to him which seemed to calm him down and if my Dad wasn't listening she would say "Dzia Dzio" until he acknowledged her and then she would continue to talk. He just may have agreed to buying her Cinderella's Castle.

Hope you are getting back into the groove after the holidays!